Comments on: Whose Life? http://birthingjoy.net/blog/2008/10/whose-life/ In oranges and women courage is often mistaken for insanity - Iron Jawed Angels Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:06:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: clyde http://birthingjoy.net/blog/2008/10/whose-life/#comment-239 clyde Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:02:15 +0000 http://birthingjoy.net/blog/?p=39#comment-239 Again, adoption can be a good choice for some people, but not everyone. And there is no shortage of children who need to be adopted and/or taken in for foster care. Again, adoption can be a good choice for some people, but not everyone. And there is no shortage of children who need to be adopted and/or taken in for foster care.

]]> By: A Mom http://birthingjoy.net/blog/2008/10/whose-life/#comment-235 A Mom Fri, 31 Oct 2008 02:29:43 +0000 http://birthingjoy.net/blog/?p=39#comment-235 If we are looking for a solution that preserves the health and well-being of both the pregnant woman and unborn fetus and if the number one reason women give for choosing to abort is that they want to be good mothers but not right 'now', wouldn't the most logical solution be adoption. It is such a win/win situation. The baby gets a good home (believe me, you have to jump through burning hoops to become an adoptive family in our culture!), the family gets a child to adore, and the birth mom can have the sense of pride that she did the ultimate, most unselfish thing for that child, without any regrets or destruction of life. In our adoption program, it is free to the birth mom and she gets continual nurturing and support and if she chooses to keep her baby she gets continued support in that manner, as well. I can't imagine what aborting your child would do to the psyche of a young woman, especially one without a support system. With the adoption process the birth mom is surrounded by those looking out for her best interest and rights. Every hoop we jumped through was for the birth mom and her baby and every adoptive family was more than willing to keep on jumping! If we are looking for a solution that preserves the health and well-being of both the pregnant woman and unborn fetus and if the number one reason women give for choosing to abort is that they want to be good mothers but not right ‘now’, wouldn’t the most logical solution be adoption. It is such a win/win situation. The baby gets a good home (believe me, you have to jump through burning hoops to become an adoptive family in our culture!), the family gets a child to adore, and the birth mom can have the sense of pride that she did the ultimate, most unselfish thing for that child, without any regrets or destruction of life. In our adoption program, it is free to the birth mom and she gets continual nurturing and support and if she chooses to keep her baby she gets continued support in that manner, as well. I can’t imagine what aborting your child would do to the psyche of a young woman, especially one without a support system. With the adoption process the birth mom is surrounded by those looking out for her best interest and rights. Every hoop we jumped through was for the birth mom and her baby and every adoptive family was more than willing to keep on jumping!

]]> By: clyde http://birthingjoy.net/blog/2008/10/whose-life/#comment-233 clyde Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:34:07 +0000 http://birthingjoy.net/blog/?p=39#comment-233 Thanks for your comment. I think you've just highlighted what I'm saying about the 'pro-life movement' - it's not actually pro-life. A true pro-life movement would seek exactly what you suggested: a more humane solution to reducing the number of abortions. Restricting abortion access does nothing to reduce the need for abortions. Reducing the need for abortions -by providing better sex education, better access to contraceptives, fostering a culture that honors a woman's sexuality and right to express it instead of demeaning it- would be a pro-life way of reducing the number of unplanned pregnancies. Unplanned pregnancy being the number one cause of abortions. I do have to disagree that abortion is done for convenience. The number one reason women give for choosing to abort is they want to be good mothers - and they know that 'now' is not the right time for them to do that. Abortion is a difficult decision and rarely (if ever) made lightly. I respect anyone's decision that abortion is not a good choice for them, but that doesn't mean it's not the right choice for anyone else. Thanks for your comment. I think you’ve just highlighted what I’m saying about the ‘pro-life movement’ - it’s not actually pro-life. A true pro-life movement would seek exactly what you suggested: a more humane solution to reducing the number of abortions. Restricting abortion access does nothing to reduce the need for abortions. Reducing the need for abortions -by providing better sex education, better access to contraceptives, fostering a culture that honors a woman’s sexuality and right to express it instead of demeaning it- would be a pro-life way of reducing the number of unplanned pregnancies. Unplanned pregnancy being the number one cause of abortions.

I do have to disagree that abortion is done for convenience. The number one reason women give for choosing to abort is they want to be good mothers - and they know that ‘now’ is not the right time for them to do that. Abortion is a difficult decision and rarely (if ever) made lightly. I respect anyone’s decision that abortion is not a good choice for them, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right choice for anyone else.

]]> By: A Mom http://birthingjoy.net/blog/2008/10/whose-life/#comment-228 A Mom Thu, 30 Oct 2008 02:20:44 +0000 http://birthingjoy.net/blog/?p=39#comment-228 I don't think it is fair to make such blanket statements as saying that pro-lifers want to control women's bodies. I am not part of any movement, but I am definitely pro-life. I am a woman that has had one miscarriage and one live birth. Before this, I had never really taken a stand in my own mind on this topic. The moment I think I became pro-life was when I was a few weeks pregnant the second time and thought I was having my second miscarriage because I was spotting. I came in at about 5 weeks and had an ultrasound and just started crying with relief when they showed me his heartbeat. In that second I knew I had a living person growing inside of me and it was my gift and responsibility to protect this child like a mother lion. I'm not looking at this from a political or religious standpoint, but from a human rights standpoint and as a mom (who is also waiting to adopt). It is so far beyond me to understand how any woman that has actually ever given birth could think that aborting their own unborn child is the best alternative to an unwanted pregnancy. Every single one of us started as a couple of cells that eventually had a heartbeat and organs, etc. This is how human life begins. It just seems so wrong on so many different levels. I apologize for rambling and thinking out loud, but it just seems like in the future more evolved societies will look back at us and just think "what did they do to their children in the name of women's rights?" Obviously what is happening in Nicaragua isn't the answer, but there has to be a middle ground where death of the mother or child isn't the outcome. Women need to have more self esteem and respect for their own bodies and have their partner put on a condom instead of thinking that if she gets pregnent, at least there is always abortion to fall back on. This was the case with 3 high school/college aged women I knew. All from good homes and plenty of money to buy birth control-- abortion for convenience. Who knows, maybe 1 of those 3 lives that I just mentioned could have come up with an answer to this question or maybe a cure for cancer, or maybe not.......but we'll never know. I don’t think it is fair to make such blanket statements as saying that pro-lifers want to control women’s bodies. I am not part of any movement, but I am definitely pro-life. I am a woman that has had one miscarriage and one live birth. Before this, I had never really taken a stand in my own mind on this topic. The moment I think I became pro-life was when I was a few weeks pregnant the second time and thought I was having my second miscarriage because I was spotting. I came in at about 5 weeks and had an ultrasound and just started crying with relief when they showed me his heartbeat. In that second I knew I had a living person growing inside of me and it was my gift and responsibility to protect this child like a mother lion. I’m not looking at this from a political or religious standpoint, but from a human rights standpoint and as a mom (who is also waiting to adopt). It is so far beyond me to understand how any woman that has actually ever given birth could think that aborting their own unborn child is the best alternative to an unwanted pregnancy. Every single one of us started as a couple of cells that eventually had a heartbeat and organs, etc. This is how human life begins. It just seems so wrong on so many different levels. I apologize for rambling and thinking out loud, but it just seems like in the future more evolved societies will look back at us and just think “what did they do to their children in the name of women’s rights?” Obviously what is happening in Nicaragua isn’t the answer, but there has to be a middle ground where death of the mother or child isn’t the outcome. Women need to have more self esteem and respect for their own bodies and have their partner put on a condom instead of thinking that if she gets pregnent, at least there is always abortion to fall back on. This was the case with 3 high school/college aged women I knew. All from good homes and plenty of money to buy birth control– abortion for convenience. Who knows, maybe 1 of those 3 lives that I just mentioned could have come up with an answer to this question or maybe a cure for cancer, or maybe not…….but we’ll never know.

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